I am an attorney. I have practiced more than 45 years, mostly litigating family law. And I know that courtrooms are filled with fear: The judge fears making a reversible ruling. The attorneys fear losing the case. The client fears what the judge may do with the most precious and vulnerable people in that client’s life. It is into this nightmare of uncertainty, anxiety, sobs, and fear that a custody evaluator goes. By giving the trial judge information that helps the court reach its decision, the evaluator affects the outcome of a case as well as its players. In my years litigating family law, it is an understatement to say that I was careful in selecting an expert witness. I looked for • Someone who analyzed not only the case’s custody issues, but also the dynamics between parents and other family members involved in the case • Someone who told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear • Someone who presented well to my clients, to the court, and to the opposition • Someone whose quick mind and firm grasp of the material helped him or her anticipate the next question in a cross-examination • Someone whose communication skills allowed him or her to explain a sophisticated, difficult issue and its resolution to someone with a junior high school education • Someone who did not leave the impression that he or she was teaching or talking down to the judge or the opposing counsel • Someone who knew that family law cases are not about winning, but rather about helping those involved